Friday, 8 November 2013

Shaken Review & Interview with author Kerry Connelly

 Shaken by Kerry Connelly

bottom_SEAL_COVER_CREATOR Synopsis

Inspired by her own experiences, Kerry Connelly bravely takes us on a journey into the loneliness and despair of depression while in the midst of an emotionally abusive relationship.

Having had anxieties since childhood, nothing was to prepare her for the violent convulsions and hours of un-controllable sobbing that had started to take over her life, as the stress and trauma of psychological abuse manifested itself in the form of major depressive disorder, severe panic disorder and anxiety with Ocd.

Shaken is the story of one woman’s journey with deteriorating mental health while under the control of an emotional abuser. It serves to acknowledge that any form of psychological abuse at any severity is unacceptable and shows just how quickly the trauma of such can give birth to a variety of mental health issues.

Separated by sections of comprehensive reference and checklist material to inform readers about the signs of emotional abuse and depression, as well as advice for friends as well as sufferers, Shaken digs deep into the heart of a woman who hopes to dispel the ignorance and lack of understanding regarding both issues by using her own experiences as an example.

A stark, honest and well written read from the pen of an emotional abuse survivor.

Lisa's Review - 5 out of 5 stars

Shaken – Kerry Connelly’s emotional rollercoaster and educational journey into abuse and depression.

I loved Shaken. As someone who has dealt with abuse of a different kind, reading someone else’s real life story on the matter was somewhat therapeutic to me, and I think it will be to others. In fact I think it will encourage others to share their stories of abuse, too.

What I loved about Shaken was the way that Kerry has shared her story about what ‘he’ put her through (omitting to share the name of ‘him’ was something I actually cheered about as I agree with Kerry, someone who can do that is not worthy of having his name shared for the world to know.), but also that she managed to turn this into a highly educational book on the subject matter. Not only does Kerry include so much valuable information – checklists, websites and the likes, but she also focuses on the loved ones of the abused, giving great advice on how to recognise the signs, how to help etc. Sometimes you read a book on a similar subject and there may be a link or two at the end and everything except the telling of the story is overlooked, but Kerry has gone to great lengths to make sure that these are given a lot of time and attention and are as much a part of Shaken as her own story is.

Shaken also touches on the fact that still, emotional abuse is a topic that to some of the world, is not seen as ‘real’ or important enough to take seriously, and with her story I hope Kerry shows how real it is and that especially more medical professionals need to recognise that emotional abuse and depression are still treat by some as matters that can be swept to one side, and this is not the case!

I was so pleased with the end of Kerry’s story and that she showed that she found her Mr Right and it can happen for everyone else, and I hope this gives anyone in an abusive situation that hope and encouragement to see it can happen for them, too.

Well done, Kerry, a 5 star from me!

DSC05065Interview with Kerry Connelly, author of Shaken

1. What was the writing process and reliving the relationship like for you?

To me the relationship never existed. It was never a ‘relationship’, just something I had to go through for whatever reason. With that thinking I was able to distance myself from the woman in the story who was being emotionally abused. Like I say in the book: "The woman in the story is me yet she is not me she never was me nor will she ever be me again." So regarding the abuse, as the writing process went on, I started to feel better and better about having been through what I did. It was definitely a cathartic experience by the end of production.

2. If you could go back as Kerry now, what one piece of advice would you give to Kerry back then?

I think Kerry back then knew it was all going to be okay- she just wasn’t sure when and how it would be okay and that really hurt her. Trying to stay positive but being repressed and compressed on a daily basis along with the already present mental health issues, just constricted her. I’m really proud she was able to keep hold of her logical mind for the most part and stay as positive as she did. I would tell her that she’s doing well, hang in there because it WILL be okay and that I’m proud of her. (Wow that was an emotional question!)

3. What is the most important thing you want Shaken to achieve?

Hope. I want those who are hurting from abuse or depression to be able to extract some hope out of shaken, know they are not alone, even if they feel like a piece of rubbish, feel they have no one who cares, are alone, being told they are worthless- they are not! They are NEVER the reason someone chooses to behave badly toward us and abuse us, I want them to know that and to know they are valued and you CAN get out of a hurtful situation, it may take some time, planning etc. but you CAN leave.  Shaken includes checklists and steps in order to offer advice for those in a bad situation to be able to leave and also offers advice for friends and family to help their loved one through it.

4. What advice would you give to someone with their own story to tell about abuse or depression that doesn't have the confidence to do so?

I would advise them to not do anything they aren’t ready for. If the person is suffering a lack of confidence as part of their depression and/or disorder, I’d suggest they work toward regaining their confidence through small and steady goals before taking on a public project. You don’t need to publically publish your story in order to tell it and make it heard. Speaking your truth to support groups and therapists in order to evaluate your depression and self-esteem in your own mind is the first major most wonderful step I would suggest doing before even thinking of jumping in the deep end. Depression and the contributing factors are a very rough disorder to go though and need to be acknowledged and controlled before taking on a project they may not be ready for.

That said, I’m a huge believer in journal writing, video diaries etc.- seeing and reading back your own thoughts etc. can really help shed some light on the various emotions and stages you have been going through that you may not even be fully aware about day to day.


Those who would like to share their own stories and feel they would like to join an online supportive network, please visit my website at and go to the ‘support group’ link to request to join the very active, award nominated ‘shaken: a group for you and me’ group on google plus, or contact me via the email links.


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RELEASE DATE Nov 7th paperback and kindle.

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